najlaa told me something about twitter that actually attracted me to use it. so this is gonna be my last blog post.. m going twitter!!! :)

sometimes, i find that these kids who study locally are worst than those who study abroad... wat do u think? especially those who gets culture shock with all the freedom that they are given once they step into the REAL world. atleast kalau bdak2 oversea grad ni, can REALLY blame it on the western influence. yang dok kat msia ni??? hmm.. wat has this country become! haha... not gonna bring up my children in msia lah like this.. hehe..

I'm blogging cause i'm bored... thought i would stop writting once i get back but wat the heck. today i feel emo. so i'm probably gonna write things according to how i'm feeling right now. i dont even know who in the right mind would stil follow this blog cause its just basically my ramblings bout things that i dont get to say it out loud.. ibu thinks i get in trouble for the things that i put here (not just ibu tho) but i say let me be. this is my space, my one place where no one gets to talk back to me. i dont giveout my links easily to people and those who do read it are usually my frens from brissie, people that i feel safe. tp if yang i dont know then i guess i dont really care cause i dont know u and u dont know me and we wont be meeting anyways..

nana's wedding for firdaus's side was last sunday. it was pretty nice, alot of vvips and vips came but i still thought that ours was better (sorry ar body... just my thought). haha.. people kept asking me whether i mind that my younger sister marries first and i keep telling them that i dont. honestly, i dont.. i am very happy for her. i think that it was high time for them to tie the knot anyways. plus the parents were already worried bout them going out way too often. however, wat i DO mind is wen people keep asking me wen my turn is gonna be even AFTER i tell them not yet or that i want to stablise my life first before i get into a comittment like that. hellooooo, dont u guys get it?? all i'm trying to do is AVOID the question entirely!! i dont want to talk bout it. i dont want to think about it with watever complications that i have in my life right now. takkan sampai nak bgtau plak my lovelife story baru korang nak paham. kalau nak sgt dengar, mmg takkan satu malam lah kan. but pls lah.. stop it.

ibu thinks i enjoy the suffering and sadness so thats why i subject myself to complications eventhough i know wat the outcome is gonna be. ayah now thinks that i'm crazy (i think la!) and my sisters, well.. they just hope that all this is worth it.. hmm. i dunno.. i dunno anymore.. right now my focus is more to job hunting.. i soo need a job so i can run away from this pain and craziness. i still sumtimes think, y cant people let me be? y cant people let me be happy? y are people so mean? y do people prejudge? maybe its my fault lah.. i prejudge too eventhough sumtimes i tell myself not to. so i guess its normal.. but then again, i usually have bad instincts so my prejudgement would always change once i get to know the other person. kaylah, i'm done with my rambling for the day. "u know who?" dont take this to heart.. just me ventilating..

kay, i'll leave with sum pictures of nana's day. i hope both of you (nana n firdaus that is..) enjoy married life and have babies ASAP k.. enjoy guys!!

now everytime when i hear the word "arranged marriage" i get knots in my tummy and my blood just shoots up.. i wonder y..

2010- no difference for now.. still the same complications in life.. when will this ever end? when can i ever get my happy ending??

A new year, a new beginning??

Happy 2010 ppl.. today's the day that we've all been waiting for (the family that is..) nana's big day.. I've been back for 3 or almost 4 weeks already and things have been hectic. buat baju, gi last minute shopping, gi test bace qur'an. at 10 today, there'l be a khatam qur'an. nana's sooo lucky cos me and najlaa ended up being dragged as well to read it with her! no fair... lagi best if dpt tgk dier sorang jer bace merangkak2.. hahaha..
mlm, would be the solemnisation ceremony. we'll be wearing green! and tomorow night, the reception at nikko... peach is the theme.. hmm, so nice.. so bz.. bz enuf to distract me from the things i have in my head. job hunting, men, job hunting, job, money, i want work!!
i hate it wen ppl just dont read wat i write but use only the pics here to judge me.. its not fair.. i hate it what people say can really disrupt your caalm feelings. i hate it when what they say might be true, and u start thinking whether or not it IS tru... hmm... oklah, better go mandi now. i dunno whether or not i'l keep blogging. so... this is bye..

It just hit me today... one more week and i'l be on a plane leaving this country.. tru, i'll be coming back but sumhow everybody is lining up their farewell party/ get together already for me! starting to feel abit emotional bout it. B, my lab mate just told me that her fiance N use to tell her how proud he was, "like a proud father" she says.. of me. and she also said that he's gonna miss me the most. u see, he and pradeep have been my mentors and have been helping me alot. i've been stealing alot of their time and also chemical stock from the lab!! hehe.. dun worry guys, i'm returning it wen mine comes in.. hahaha..
hmm, i dont think i'll be missing adelaide, but i'm gonna miss the lab and the people alot. they've been nothing but nice to me all year and their sincerity in helping just shines thru.. guys, thanks for everything and i'l miss u guys and do keep in touch...

I feel like am in a movie... a drama even.. seems like everyone is moving pass me and i'm stuck, just watching people go... not being able to move.. everything's soo hazy. am i going to be able to move from this stationary phase? its so tiring, so depressing, so frustrating..