KingdomofDreams

URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT

2012-04-06T11:51:00.000+08:00

Ok girls... this post is gonna stay up here for awhile.. scroll down for new posts...

Anyways, officially now I have to let go of my venue in Dewan Perdana Felda for the 11.11.12 due to the change in wedding date. So pls..pls..pls.. If you or if you know anyone who might be interested to take over my place let me know cause if not, Felda's gonna take my deposit :( Just email me at howbzerk@gmail.com. Thanks!!

Deco & such!

2012-01-26T09:37:00.004+08:00

I didnt know getting and finalizing a wedding decorator would make me feel THIS happy. haha.. Anyways, they came last night with a proposal and very glad to say mum approves! Ibu has this very high taste on decoration and for nana's wedding, we had Yamin to do it. Hence from thereon its quite hard to find someone who would be able to be at par without breaking the bank! The wedding decorator would be doing the house, the hantarans, the bedroom and also the hall. That's a big chunk of the wedding prep outta way! Settled! Sib baik I dont have to go find some other alternatives...

Ok, let me just give a sneak peek of who they are..

Figured out yet?? :)

OK.. additional hints okaay...

craziness appear~

2012-01-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

suddenly today i feel... mcm mana nak explain eyh? not doubt.. but its more to curious and wary. Normal ker eh biler dah tunang and you start having these not so good feelings? like starting to over think and over look about things that might actually be hapenning but not really happening?? paham tak? huhuh... tak paham takper.. just needed to vent out cause everybody seems to be non-contactable now and i'm left alone thinking. and its not really good when i'm left alone thinking.. tapi kan.. if nak ikut track record, sometimes aper yang terpkir tu mesti betul. waaaa.. takot! takot!! omg.. baru few days kot!

21.1.12

2012-01-22T09:06:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah the engagement went well... :) I wasn't nervous or anything like that up till A.Anne came to bring me down! I reaaaally hope the pictures turns out well cause anxiety kicked in at the very last minute and I didn't know what to do! Sure gambar nmpak muka cuak!! haha... smile ker? tak smile ker? nanti if smiled too wide orang ingat budak ni giler happy pulak kaan. haha.. so overall it was great. will upload the pics soon as I get them from the photographers. But I'll just put some which I took with my phone... I'm really happy and content now. So next step... the planning for the wedding!! woot! woot!!

Baju was dusty pink and had zaza from beadsmepls to do the beadings which was gorgeous!

Had the pleasure of Nuwoo Gift Ideas to do my mini pelamin

p/s: Thanks to my lovely family who even though was a bit skeptic about the whole engagement arrangement (ie flowers and baju) for making this day as wonderful and memorable as it could be. To Iris, my bestest fren.. Thanks for flying all the way from Melbourne and being a part of this happy day of mine..

A night to remember

2012-01-08T23:35:00.001+08:00

It wasn't so much of a romantic night...He didn't go on bended knees... There wasn't any roses or slowmo music as the backdrop... But it was the most meaningful night for me...and for him too I'm sure.

Lets rewind to few weeks back ok?? :)

Mr and I agreed that we'll just get a gold wedding band for the engagement ceremony but will have a nice diamond one for the wedding. To those who might know me well enough, this might seem like a downgrade of what I usually have in mind and what is the usual for my side of the family.. hahaha.. but hey, I didn't wanna burden him yea.. so that was that..

We had this wedding invitation last night in Putrajaya (congrats Ayeb and wifey!) and afterwards he said that he wanted to drive around the place, wanting to see the bridge and what not at night. So I kinda guided him the way and we ended up in front of the Putrajaya mosque but instead of him driving straight across the bridge towards the government complexes, he went around the plaza and parked right in front of the mosque. He said something like as god is the witness, he was gonna ask me something.. Straight away I thought SHIT.. surely he wanted to ask me a question that requires me to tell the truth and I cant lie! lots of what ifs ran through my mind actually. haha... cuak tak tentu pasal kaaaan..

Anyways, he gave this looong and winding speech bout how happy he was and how much he loves me... Honestly, I wanted to cut him short and tell him to get straight to the point! But then he leaned over, took his kopiah out from his dashboard. Apakah kan??!! hehe... basically there was a ring lah innit.. a nicer ring! hahaha... suprise suprise!! tibe2 rasa sweet sangat lah pulak bf ni... doing the unexpected. I feel blessed..

nice ey??

Husna, this message is personally for you, for you have seen the ups and downs of my previous relationship.. I have found that one person who loves me more than I love him. :) I have found that one person who would go to the distant just to please me and apologizes whenever he feels that he has done wrong unto me. Basically I found my Edward :) you know what I mean right? hahaha.. I'm sure you'll like him when you guys finally meet.

ok, enough of being extremely happy. Sleep tight girls..

2012-01-05T09:53:00.001+08:00

Happy Thursdaaay! I feel a bit chirpy and hyped-up today.. Dont know whether its due to the given thumbs-up by ibu for the new venue or the very good mood of the boss today. Anyways, Mr told me to go book the kursus kahwin in S'ngor for early February. Checked the JAIS website and called them up. I really dont know whats wrong with these people. I was already finding the lady annoying as she answered the phone while chewing food but on top of that she was so eager to hang up while I was still talking! So I did what was told, printed out a copy of the form that was online (click on that link if you guys want, the time table for the kursus is also there), filled it up for both me and MR... and fax it back to them. After that I had to call them up again to make sure that they've received it and AGAIN was entertained by another rude lady. OMG!!! Dahlah keje kat JABATAN AGAMA ISLAM kan, sopan lah sikit... I doubt you have tones of work to do selain dari duduk dekat counter, makan, gossip and wait for people! Now, I'm like should I go to this one or go to some other "private" ones.. ape akal jer aku malass.. ok, dah abis vent out.. I'm back to my serene place now.. hehehehe...

Designers for thought

2012-01-01T15:33:00.002+08:00

I am blessed to come from a family yang senang sikit.. :P So ibu gave me the permission to find a designer from Jakarta for the reception attire. Some were found online from the Jakarta Fashion Week website and some were recommended by my far away cousin who is indonesian. Jom cuci mata... :)

This is my favourite so far... Irna Mutiara

and she also have awesome head accessories... Something very different from what we have here kan??

ok next designer: Dian Pelangi... Also something that's up my alley :)

Adhy & Alie

Herman Nuary

ok, so during this web searching journey, i happened to stumble upon SOOO many other designers that are worth the look. So will see how this journey ends for me. Lets just hope i find that dream baju :)

p/s: now the wedding date is gonna be brought forward a few months.. waaaaaaaaargh!! now back to square one where I need to find the a venue and let go of the super awwwwsome one I have now :( update on that later

what 2011 has been to me...

2011-12-31T16:25:00.002+08:00

Many might not know it, but 2011 was a total rollercoaster ride for me. 2011 had so many challenges in the beginning that put me at my lowest. But 2011 also taught me some very valuable lessons and brought me someone that made all the pain and sorrow at the beginning seems worth it. 2011 brought me to new places that I never knew existed, and 2011 showed me true friends. Overall, despite the ups and downs.. All I could say is that I'm glad that its over. hahaha... I'm very much looking forward for what 2012 had installed for me..

5 days of bliss :)

2011-12-30T08:55:00.000+08:00

Christmas was last weekend hence Monday was a replacement holiday for many of us. Yes... that should have given me more time to update the blog and what not.. but what to do.. I'm that lazy nowadays plus I dont have anything major happening for the time being..

Anyways, Mr took 2 days off from Thursday and was in KL right till Monday. For 5 days he was the perfect chauffeur, the adviser and the teman. Anyways, we went to get his ring on Saturday.. Wedding ring yer.. mind you it's still so so far away but atleast that one major expense that can be scrapped off the to-do list :) brought it home but only then realised that the batu was a bit senget. Nothing major but still it kinda make my eyes "sakit". His was just a plain band with a princess cut diamond in the middle. So on Monday had to send the ring back for resetting. Mr was scared of losing my ring that he told them to keep it at the store till few weeks before the wedding. Bijak juga yer... tempat yang paling selamat I suppose.. kalau hilang, they can just replace it kaaaan ;)

its abit like this but without the lines.. sangat lah plain...

Also, I finally got my E-day baju. Kan nana said that the lady was a disaster kan... Well, not quite lah. The baju was ok but it needed some altering. The kain.. was a different story.. it was sooo cantiik.. hahah.. bleh tak puji sendiri?? So whilst waiting for the top to be made smaller ( yer, smaller.. I doubt its because I lost weight!) we went tudung shopping. Sumpah I dont know how to wear my tudung on the day nanti and on top of that, it was super hard trying to find the right colour! So till today, my tudung search is still on.. Kat mana ah nak cari tudung cantik?? Nak pakai macam mana ah?? owh, I'm not gonna wear a veil so I guess I can go over the top a bit for the tudung.. hahah..

Last update for the day, the no of hantaran for the engagement... hmm... We both agreed earlier that its was just gonna be 3-5 or paling byk pun 5-5 (yes, I really dont like to be abide by tradition...) but then yang cakap saomething, yang tu comment lagi... last2 its gonna be 5-7. aih... yang 5 pun I still dont know what to chuck on the dulang, ni kan 7. The original plan was to have the first 3 in the list but I later added the perfume (sib baik it was christmas sale!).. So far I have:

kain & samping
sirih junjung
cupcakes
perfume
??
??
??

owh damn... bila dah list down gini baru prasan byk lagi dulang yang takde isi!!! waaaargh!!! apakah??!! Okay2, got to think now.. chill.. still got time.. i guesssss

p/s: started flying yoga last weds.. will update on that soon..

Khamis yang membosankan

2011-12-22T11:58:00.000+08:00

Today's a boring boring day.. The boss is out so I'm a bit relaxed. haha.. The transfer to a new department is most probably happening soon. The GM is giving me till the end of the month to decide if I wanna take up the responsibility. After discussing with all concerned, it looks like amma gonna take up the job. Criusly, memang betul kot my friend ckp aritu that I got commitment problems! after 6 months jer akan rase bosan.. Nasib baik this time bukan company lain, just into a different department. owh well... Kene pindah Perak tu plak, most probably mid next year. I still think its gonna be a bit hard to plan a wedding and be married when you are far apart. Mr is asking for a transfer here in KL so I dont know how things would turn out to be for us. MAKE IT WORK, i suppose :)

Anyways, finally had that meeting with Nuwoo on Tues. Belief me when I say this meeting is loooong due. Anyways, went to her place in Wangsa Maju and sat down discussing the colours and the concept of what I wanted things to be. Really nice in person owhkaay. As I said before, I wanted it to be as simple as possible. So i took the most basic items. For the mini pelamin which includes the backdrop, 4 flower stands, a bench & 5 dulang hantarans plus sirih junjung (which she normally charges abit extra)- it came down to RM1800. Ok jer kan? Seriously I dont know what the market price is la and since ibu said OK (she told me that i got bad taste so she's hijacking the whole planning), then I ok jerr.. Now, all I need to do is pay the 30% deposit and wait... She would want 50% of the remaining to be deposited to her 2 days before the big day and the rest when everything is done. Normal kot part ni...

Would be heading to pick up my E-day baju this weekend. Hope it turns out well and as expected. If not matilaaa kene maki dgn sesetangah orang itiew sbb hantar dekat tailor yang tak fofular!

p/s: sowie husna for you have to read all this wedding plans here.. i know i'll bore you with the details!

Let the fun begin!

2011-12-10T16:09:00.001+08:00

Tibe2 rajin lah plak nak menghupdate blog la kaaan... Anyways, I've always thought engagements should be small, private, not so elaborated and simple. Now, since I'm getting engaged to this very very simple guy with a simple kinda family from up north makanya it has to be just that. Taknaklah mak dia tekejut pulak kan time dtg rumah nanti! huhu..

So basically I wasnt looking for any vendors to do a mini pelamin or what not. Was just thinking of doing something like time my sis's nye engagement haritu. Tersangatlah simple..

Nana's engagement

Tapi I had to find someone to do my hantarans.. Time tgh cari2, Ms ReneeMeow suggested that I try Nuwoo cause for one, Nuwoo's affordable she said. Sangatlah betul kan, time I call tu dia bagi quotations yang acceptable la pricing and options dia... I asked her to provide me with the most basic items and I have yet to meetup with her regarding the whole concept. Dia busy, me pun busy... camner nih?? owh tapi one thing lah... She's pregnant so she won't be doing anymore weddings/engagement events till abis pantang kalau tak silap. Tapi she did say that her friend would continue doing it for her.. So ok jer kot if dia takde, asal keje jalan still...

Something which I have in mind :) not too much kaaan???

Declaring

2011-12-09T21:22:00.003+08:00

I've read so many blogs nowadays from other B2Bs about their wedding preparations and all.. I feel their excitement and all, truly. You see, I've been blogging waaaaay before all these hype was created and most of my life details are jotted down here. So when these girls started exchanging urls and what not, i was torn. should i share it with them or not?? bukannya me being sombong or what.. cumanya they are part of a group which now i am too. and they would like to share every single detail about the wedding prep and the dates of solemnization, which in return i do too... i really do... but then.. there's my past. sometimes i think that prick has stopped checking this blog since he has a family now and what not. but sometimes u just cant be too certain u know.. tho i dont think he would wanna do anythg crayzee to ruin my day, you can NEVER be too certain.. history has thought be a valuable lesson but at the same time took my freedom to express.

ibu told me not to put any details bout the wedding here. Mr also told me to limit the access to only people that i know.. So what do u think?? yeaa... maybe i'll do that since i hv access now to the group.. :) hehe.. tp cam hebat jer lah kan plak.. aduh..

mode: jeles ngn org yang leh letak countdowns kat blog derang :(

A week so far

2011-12-09T11:17:00.002+08:00

It had been a hectic week. Had meeting in Perak so had to go there from Monday till Weds and then Thurs had another function in Putrajaya. Sleep still lacking from all of the activities. Wont be seeing Mr till next week.. Macam tak biase jer LDR kaan... really dont know how its gonna work once we settle down.

Today, came into the office and was told that I would/ might (ura-ura laaa) be transferred to another dept. when? I still dont know cause the boss was acting "dunno" jer the whole time today, padahal instructions have already been given by the Chairman. hmmm macam bes kene transfer kat tmpt lain. TAPI... if betullah kene transfer, then the probability of me having to be posted in Perak is higher.. WTH?! taknaaaaak!!! Susahlah nanti nak travel up and down! takper2, i guess until i get a transfer letter i shouldnt be worried about all these things...

The excitement feeling of being a B2B dah die down.. I'm like that i think.. I just get excited for a while and when nothing new happens i just get bored and tak bersemangat as if nothing... Tahun depan jerlah bersemangat balik. hahaha...

Tuesday blue! (long post ahead!)

2011-11-29T12:03:00.007+08:00

I had the best 4 day weekend ever! haha... Last week memang sakit after that team building trip that I had to Langkawi. So it was leave on Monday and MC on Tuesday. Went to work on Weds and Thurday but was sick again on Fri. Stayed the whole day in bed watching movies and tv series and slept like nobody's business! Had Saturday and Sunday, then Monday was a public holiday... Basically, last week was heaven!

Mr came down Fri night but he too was sick so that was that. We had plans to run a few errands actually but instead of doing everything in 1-2 days, it was spread around for 3. I guess now, the path that we're about to embark is clearer and more solid but it still hasn't sink in with me (bley tak?? kain dah anta tempah, cincin sme dah beli..). Maybe that insecurity issues tak btol2 resolve kot. Maybe esok lusa nak kawin baru rase real. hahaha!

Anyways, went to KL to get the material for hantaran tunang and send my engagement baju for tailoring, so singgahlah kejap kat Habib nak tgk cincin for gents. I've always liked simple modern wedding bands but it seems that he prefers those big, ustaz kinda looking wedding rings! owwh maan.. *geleng kpale jap* but we ended up compromising *ehem* hekindatookasimplebandwithasmalldiamond... hahaha! Since it wasnt his size, we had to order a new ring so I had to put down the deposit of course. Anyways, to cut story short.. Ibu thought that I should have gotten him a better ring kalau iyer pun lah nak save (cause it was cheap!- 50% yawww), d sis said the same thing too SO.... we ended up cancelling the ring and bought a new one at the same place where I made mine! hmm... Sape nak bayar ni skang?? hahaha..

Owh, had a funny story during the measuring session nak buat baju tunang.. Went to this chinese lady in Semua House since it was recommended by my aunt (but my sis apparently sent to her once and it turned out BAD!! now panicking!!! I guess I have to wait til I get the finished product). Anyways, as she was measuring she kinda paused for awhile and asked if I worked in an office.. Hmm.. dont really have to be a rocket scientist to wonder why she asked that qtn kaaaan.. I just answered YES

and asked her if my hips actually gave way to that. hahaha... Yup! it did she said sambil tepuk2 my hips!! aduhaaai.. Mr just couldn't held back his laughter (kurang ajar btol)- this hips are child bearing hips owhkaaaay... will be beneficial to u one fine day MR!

So now, I'm only left with finding people to do a simple backdrop and dulang hantaran for the engagement. Damn... dont think I have enough time tho... arrrrgghhh!!

Colour schemes...

2011-11-17T10:21:00.008+08:00

ok.. i'm torn between these colours.. what dyou think?? i'm leaning more towards the first and the last.. its mostly pink and orange.. but i dunno.. i dunno.. i still havent bought material for the engagement yet! (yea yea.. already planning wedding before the engagement! hahaha)

2011-11-14T15:37:00.003+08:00

Okay.. So I've been slacking off with the blogging part.. But I've got a good reason for it.. I suppose.. haha... Anyways, life's been good and I'm enjoying everything about it. I've started reading B2B blogs now. I didn't know they were all so very helpful. One that I enjoy most for now is this .

Me and Mr have been planning the wedding waaay before planning the engagement. I dont know if its a good thing but we just got excited i suppose. hehe.. I think he is more excited than I am! You guys remember that post when i said I've just lost the venue that I wanted?? Well, it was him who called the person in charged and kinda convinced him that we were super duper serious bout the venue hence it was given to us... TQ Mr! :)

When I said I'd be a lazy B2B, I wasnt exaggerating.. I was indeed being honest. ;) like I found this one photog named Annas Aeskey and to me he took gorgeous photos and on top of that he gave me a good quote but mind u, he was only the first person whom I called. I wanted to say YES straight away but Mr was soo adamant that I wait and scout. Told him NO, he kept giving me options so I told him to call, check them out and try to win the case. hahaha... he did the whole work! good eyy?? so now we've agreed to hire somebody else which offered a better price thanks to his very good PR. owh btw, kitorg settled with mycutemoment :) tho ada sedikit rase menyesal sebab ada banyak je lagi photogs yang bes out there. huhu... tapi nak sedapkan hati, i keep telling myself, they have the experience! huhu...

I guess with all these good things that are happening in my life right now, it all comes down to one thing.. TIMING. It feels complete now..

So it begins...

2011-11-01T08:13:00.005+08:00

I guess now I should start listing down things to do and finding vendors and venues. I found one venue which i really liked before this but had to wait for SOO many people to confirm back with me and I lost the venue!! I so frustrated now.. So back to square one.. grrr...

UPDATE!

Got the venue!! huhuhu... orang tu salah book orang so YESSSS!!! thats settled then.. ok, i'm super duper happy now :)

update!!!

2011-10-28T08:13:00.002+08:00

I think I'm gonna be a lazy bride-to-be :)

2011-10-18T11:00:00.002+08:00

I listen to Hitz.fm every single day and of course the "Fay Hukolani" segment on goss... I was quite curious in how she looks like so i ended up "google-ing" her.. Turns out she has this blog on healthy lifestyle and all, and i find it really fun to read. You see, i'm actually in this phase where i really need to take good care of my body. I've started cutting out rice from my meals and also exercising again (though not really gym kinda exercise), so reading her blog was actually good for motivation :) Anyways.. what i wanna share here is this article about sitting on your bum all day that I found it in her blog... So have a read here .

Funny thing, I found another article on sitting for too long on another website.. Nah, have a read and get your ass off that chair now! hehe...

According to a study by the American Cancer Society, sitting for more than six hours a day suppresses hormones that inhibit heart disease. “Oh,” you might say, “well, I happen to exercise and eat right when I’m not working my ass off at a desk.” It doesn’t matter. Even amongst regular gym rats, there was a 37% increased risk of death amongst heavy-sitters, and that risk skyrockets to 94% if you don’t exercise ever.

“Even if you are active, sitting for long periods of time will impact your health, and you’ll have a shorter life span,” said Alpa Patel, the study’s lead author. “Whether a person is sitting at a desk, or sitting on a couch, sitting for long periods of time is harmful.”

The study, which followed 123,216 people for 14 years, showed much lower risk rates for men. 17% of otherwise active men incurred the sitting related health problems, and 48% of lazy-ass couch potatoes who are male were more “prone to death.”

Update!

2011-10-17T15:26:00.002+08:00

So I havent been updating much, I know. Thats just cause 1- got no mood and 2- i got other fun things to do :)
Anyways.. first things first... Its the story of the return of Mr Shithead. Yahaa... Thought u've heard the last of him?? yeah.. so did i! That prick actually made a police report against this blog claiming... umm.. I dont really get what he was claiming for actually.. but honestly I think he was just trying to clean his "closet" since he's probably going up the career ladder kan. Makanya takmaulah cerita2 yang tidak enak untuk dibaca oleh orang umum (yea, i dont buy that story bout his colleagues read this blog la, his boss la, his nenek pe jadah sme baca this blog). cih! owh heck, screw him lah. lets just hope I dont have to see or hear from him again! penat dah kot...

Other than that, live's goooood!

The Best Week...

2011-09-30T10:14:00.004+08:00

So... had the best week so far :)

Iris- Me- Mr (getaway)
Iris- ZakTan- Me (another getaway)

Iris is heading home soon so will be missing her so much. But other than that, lets just go with the flow.. Just enjoy :))

btw, got this quote today. so i'll just share it with you all...
"Karma is nature's energy saver. Don't waste time getting even... let Karma take care of the problem.."

2011-09-22T10:49:00.000+08:00

Today.. is a goood day :) though the weather is a bit gloomy and cold outside, inside its just sooo sunny and bright, birds are chirping, butterflies are flying around :) gosh! i really feel like i'm on happy pills! hehe... dont think anything can spoilt my day :) or maybe its gonna be a great week altogether.. hmm... maaaybe :) should really make sure the supply of daily happiness takkan abis stock! *sigh* having the widest smiiiiile now... u guys have a great day!

"Sometimes God hides away the sunshine.. He gives us thunder and lightning, and we cry asking HIM when is the sun coming back to shine. Little that we know, HE has prepared us rainbows.."

tired of hating

2011-09-19T21:10:00.001+08:00

i'm at my best mood nowadays.. and yes i'm happier.. so please MOHD IRFAN IDRUS, leave me alone... stop reading this blog.. stop wanting to know what my updates are, stop wishing me well.. and bloody hell just stop msging me especially at 2am! ... Just stay away, disappear and live your life as what you've planned. Basically, just FUCK OFF! OKTQBYE

VEEEERRRK...

2011-09-14T18:11:00.000+08:00

work so far has been inneresting eventhough sumtimes i would appreciate it if i get better directions from the boss. but today, i'm just pissed.. she actually rejected my leave for god knows wat reason and then she rejected my travel report with reasons..BUT what she wanted was already IN the report though it was written in bloody english.. and then, she gives me a dateline ( which i secretly love cause i work better with datelines) for the marketing plan BUT, still a blurry direction.. then, when i wanted to go out for data collection she gives me this bloody long nag which was a big turnoff for me to go out later. then, my staff "passed" me her message about going back early.. i really dont see the point of staying back when there's no work to be done.. lastly, she decided that the department would have a raya openhouse on the day that i was suppose to have leave and make all of us support the budget. yea.. maybe i'm just being touchy touchy today.. but i was sure as hell pissed!

so tomorrow, i will finish my marketing thgy and give it to her. then, i will apply again for the leave to be approved. grrr... come on la.. i've sent it a week ago and u still didnt approve it, why?? Iris is coming back for zaida's wedding hence i wanted the monday off to go spend time with her. i even took only 1 day off for raya but she still nak do this to me!

other than that, i'm doing great :) i find myself singing to myself a lot and i mean A LOT now.. wsham says he's never seen me this happy since mirul.. haha!! wow! thats a loooong time then since i've been this happy. will be picking up iris with MR this saturday. iris still thinks its gonna be zul but i told her no.. and that she should stop that wishful thinking right there :) she just warned me that he would have to be as nice as zul. hahaha!! what a big shoe he needs to fill! anyways, lets not jinx things and talk bout this.. time will tell i suppose but now i'm just smiling...

*disclaimer: husna, its not your mirul okaay... :)

the day i lost a fren...

2011-09-07T21:26:00.002+08:00

so today i lost a fren.. a very dear fren.. i lost a fren cause i was reckless.. i lost a fren cause i wasnt thinking rite... so now he's gone.. now i can no longer turn back the time.. now i can no longer undo what i have done.. i'm so sorry... i wish i didnt do what i did.. i was your bestfren and i should have known better than to do what i did.. argggghhh!! i'm SORRY!! i hope u dont go far... i hope u'll come back one day.. tho it wont be the same, i'd still want u around.. i'd still want our kids to play together and be best frens to each other like how we were.. SORRY!!!

p/s: broke a personal record- broke 2 hearts in 2 days... but thats another story..

2011-08-23T09:29:00.000+08:00

Suprises.. sometimes it can be good... but this one i still dont know..

All about work

2011-08-19T09:47:00.002+08:00

I'm not really a morning person but since started working here, I have to! Work starts at 8am and its on the other side of town hence, I've got no choice but to get ready just after subuh prayers... So far everyone have been nice but I secretly think that there is a plot to sabotage my position as how I got in into the organization was quite "sensationalized".

I'm a Malay girl, born and raised in a family that is quite open bout a lot of issues. I'd like to think that we've been very much urbanized. I've got no issues with mixing around but by me going into an organisation that is monopolized by very conventional Malays, then its another story. It was hard enough that I dont really wear baju kurung to work, on top of that I speak english and do my presentations in english. I'm not saying that my English is soo superb, but I spent most of my adult life overseas and the only formal letter that I wrote in malay was back in high school! I've had help from people before but now I'm on my own you see. I just struggle writing in perfect formal malay. Atleast I dont have to put at the end of everything "yang menurut perintah" cause that sure as hell dont agree with me!

Being me, I still wear pants to work or dresses.. Tho not everyday la since even on the days that I do pun I get enough stares already. haha.. There was a time when I had my nails painted and this makcik came up to me every single day just to say something sarcastic. I just said aint it nice?? next month i'm gonna colour it blue then orange and so on so forth! haha.. it was fun la annoying these people like that.. But other than that I try to fit in.. Attending what ever activities they organize. So tengoklah macam mana in another few more months. If this doesnt agree with me, then I can always find something else to do :)

p/s: adi is back, whdh and biskut also back.. but i still cant bring myself to go have dinner with adi. wonder why..

Ramadhan 2011

2011-08-12T15:57:00.002+08:00

Pejam celik, pejam celik dah puasa balik kan.. and then, tgk2 dah bulan 8 pun. wow.. inneresting year so far for me. Ramadhan this year has been better than last year alhamdulillah :) a year ago, i was still in that era of pleasing people and worrysome was normal. this year, way better.

work has been awesome eventho there's dramas here and there (ade yg kene sawan lagi but thank god this time i didnt get blamed for opening the windows~). dah kate tmpt melayu.. there's no such thing as P&C yer kat sini.. got so pissed the other day when it seems ppl here know whats my paycheck.. WTF?? (ok, thats just gonna be another post)

Anyways, next week will be heading out of town for a few days. its gonna b an experience i suppose. going away for work to a kampung area so that should definitely be the highlight for this year's Ramadhan for me. at work, they have all these activities during Ramadhan like all this ceramahs during lunch time and also tadarus on fridays. ecece... baik lah plak this year kan join bende2 ni. haha.. wat to do.. when opportunity has present itself for u to be better i suppose might as well grab it.. kan3?

Parents are going for umrah next week too so hopefully they get to come back safely after after that. frens have been great too eventho felt excluded at times.. but i suppose i just dont take pot anymore bout those things.. just go on with my life. baju raya this year, tak buat lagi!! huhu.. last year beriya, this year mcm tak rase sgt nak raya for some particular reason i dunno wat. only gonna be meeting up with the designer on saturday. sib baik last minute die kate bleh amik, if not mmg cnfirm lah no baju raya for me this year.

hari ini dalam sejarah

2011-08-03T18:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe I did something great yesterday cause something AWWWWWEESOOOOMMMEE happened today :) mootastic!!

That time when I set off to see the Queen :) part 3

2011-07-30T14:04:00.028+08:00

Work has been taking a big portion of my time lately plus lazyness has taken its toll on me hence the late late update on the UK trip i had.

ok, since i'm still very much lazy to rearrange the pictures and tulis pjg2, i'll just do a photo commentary :)

Italy

So our story begins (backwards tho..) in Pisa, Italy... Welcome to Aeroporto Galileo Galilei :)

Finally, the leaning tower of Pisa :) I've traveled to Italy a long time ago but we didnt get the opportunity to visit this famous place.. So now I can say, I've been here! :)

So after Pisa, we drove to Firenze or Florence... cause it was too hot, we only started roaming around at dawn..

This is the Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore.. a building that is so so breathtaking.. I remembered us walking down the alleys to get here and just when all of us turn round the corner, there it was and all of us just gave an immediate sound of awe...

Panas kan... so gelatto seround ah... :)

The surroundings around Firenze. Cant remember which plaza this was but they had those big big brands like Miu Miu, Prada and Gucci on this side of town... huhu.. Whdh and I had good time gawking at what ever that was displayed at the window but both of us knew that come tmrw, we'd shop til we drop!!

Whdh was a happy camper shopping all of that!! This was the main reason why we came down to Florence actually... To shop at the factory outlets. One was called The Space and the other The Mall. The Space only carries Prada and a very limited collection of Miu Miu but The Mall had alot more brands like Ferragamo and Gucci.I was planning to get handbags but i suppose now i really need to admit that i am a shoe lover... ended up with NO handbags but 5 shoes! huhu... in my defense, those shoes were CHEAP! eg. got a Prada shoe for just 100 euro when later whdh told me that in Leeds, they were selling it for 275 pounds! bargain bargain rite?? :)

See those Chinese/Korean/Taiwanese people??? They were there waaay earlier than us! (we came 30mins before the doors were open) OMG, mereka2 ini shopping tak hengat. Sgt2 tak suke cause they tend to grab everything from the shelf thinking that what they take is what they would get. But problem is, it is NOT cause u only show the salesgirls and they'll key the code in and u just collect it at the cashiers. ngok ngek tol.. So me and whdh was left there standing and hoping that they'd put the items back.. actually, i didnt bother cause i went straight to the shoes section :)

around Firenze during the day before heading back to Leeds... Owh I so wanna visit Italy again.. Insyaallah one day!

LONDON

Billy Eliot was on but of course, I was eye-ing for a better show :)

Whdh and fiance went to watch Les Miserable and left me alone.. Luckily had someone to teman me go see this instead!! was the best 30 pounds spent! hehe... I've always wanted to go watch Wicked but never did get the chance when I was in Oz.. So when I saw that they had it in London, that was my priority... Not sume big ben what ever.. hahaha..

They said that the space in London is like gold.. but i didnt expect it to be SOO expensive that the toilet was only THIS BIG!! criusly, it was like somebody chucked the toilet in a closet.. thanks god our room's was bigger...

Finally here baybeh!!

The two jing bangs... :) twas an experience to remember travelling with u two. Will definately do it again... but next time, i'll bring a date too..

This is Kensington Palace.. It seems the newly weds would be living in one of the apartments here.. Tp takder lah kitorg terserempak ngn Prince William that day...

Honestly, I didnt get to see London properly.. Most of my memories of the city were of tube stations.. hahaha... but Insyaallah will be heading there again next year with another bunch of people from Maliq's side whom I have NO idea of. So that will be another adventure I am looking forward to..

Coming soon...

2011-07-28T23:09:00.002+08:00

A new family member will soon be joining us but... will have to wait for a few more months to see how :))

p/s: i really should start writing bout london n pisa soon... but so so lazy..

That time when I set off to see the Queen :) part 2...

2011-07-22T00:40:00.009+08:00

so the story continues....

So when i got back from Sheffield, had a day to shop in Leeds for the family members yang mengirim, but let me tell u this.. these people are notorious! sgt2 picky! so buying for them was sooo hard that i just went into the stores and took watever was in their size and within their price range, hoping they would be happy :) so cum Saturday, whdh had her skating class so planned to just go with her and then lepak2 jalan2 in this place called bradford.

But u see, i fell sick when i was in sheffield and when i got back to Leeds on thurs, incik Z gave me some cough medicine :) it was sooo good i tell u.. hahaha... gave me the best nyte sleep ever! so that friday nyte the 3 of us decided to hv a chill nyte and have a Nora Elena marathon. however, it ended up with just me and incik Z watching KL gangster with both of us on cough medication.. haha.. it was so funny cause we watched it half way and then both just dozed off, woke up at the same time around 5am then continued watching that bloody movie AND smbung tgk citer Karak!

(disclaimer: i dont watch this much of malay movies when i'm in msia tho kay...) but then kol 8 had to drive whdh to her skating thingy in bradford. first thing on incik Z and my list was the COUGH SYRUP. bahahaha!! i even forgot to bring a towel along to mandi in my cousin-in-laws place. dang!! sent whdh off, then we drove to the nearest McD and bought brekkie before heading to incik N's place where we ate, took sumore of the cough syrup and sambung tido till noon. cuti..cuti.. best gile!

we headed off to york later that afternoon, tho it was quite late to shop or do visiting, we still had the sun and chance to walk around. York's quite a beautiful place.. basically most of the places i went was beautiful.. i really like the old buildings and the low bustling around.. right, so pictures... london and pisa's story to come later :)

That time when I set off to see the Queen :) part 1

2011-07-19T02:59:00.008+08:00

After months and months of planning, the day for departure finally came. The flight to Manchester was about 14 odd hours including the transit in Qatar was so-so.. I guess I had higher expectations of the airline, but nonetheless it was fine.. When I reached there, the very patient Ms Whdh was already there waiting together with a purchased trained ticket back to Leeds.

Boy owh boy... i very much love the location of her house. It was smack in the middle of town! As I strutted along with my huge luggage along the streets, all I could see was red signage with the writing of SALE on it. damnit!!! I so wanted to shop but 1- really needed a shower after that very long flight, 2- was starving and food seems like the essential thing then.

So we had lunch at this ala Nandos shop down the road and later was joined by her 2 frens, one of which was now a relative! haha... wat a small world.. anyways, we just lepak at one of the parks (since it was still bright but shops were closed already) and then headed home for some chinese food... nyuummm..

Plan was, to head of to Sheffield the very next day and stay

with KSalwa for about 3-4 days before heading back to Leeds til Saturday, then head off to London on Sunday and then Pisa on Tuesday. Will then come back to Leeds on Thurs and head back to Malaysia on Sat. All planned out... but wats the in between things to do was still blurry to me. ahaha!! typical i suppose.. now i just dont bother planning.. i go with the flow! :)

Some pictures of Sheffield and Leeds.. And I will update again with part 2 of my trip :)

today..

2011-07-18T21:37:00.002+08:00

So today was my first day at the new work place :)

Note and reminder to self: working attire ---> BAJU KURUNG. Aww man.... Honestly, i couldnt care less. Lucky for me, the division that i am in allows me from time to time to wear pants to work. sib baiiiikk... Anyways, had to wake up sooo early since now work starts at 8am. Report for duty at the HR dept and they sent me off to mine. Met the boss and was shown to my room.. huhuhu... ade bilik sendiri yaw!! Anyways, it was ok la.. had windows, a brand new pc and a very spacious space to sleep on the floor. hahaha!! naa.. wont be doing that dont u worry ;) Didnt have anything to do except to read the work "road-map" to get a better understanding of what they actually expects of but that was about it.

My head was still adjusting to the 7 hour difference from UK but thats gonna be another post. tomorrow maybe?? :) anyhow.. first day was so-so.. dont know wat to expect. tomorrow? its gonna be an adventure since will have to wake up at 5am to go to a project site. owh well...

another burden uncovered

2011-07-02T00:21:00.002+08:00

feeling quite heavy hearted and guilty to be jetting off for a holiday when the family is having a new blow...

"Ya Allah, berilah kami kekuatan, ketenangan dan kejayaan dalam melalui dugaanMu ini..."

ok, just feeling like dropping down and cry now.

CP&L day 1

2011-06-29T00:05:00.003+08:00

So i cheated.... :P wasnt suppose to eat anythg besides the CP&L solution but i HAD to munch sumthg to help me gulp that thg down!! (yer, alasan2..) plus i just had to eat salad and a cheese sandwich cause i was too bloody hungry! so kay2... will have to have another go at it tomorrow kalau tak jadi puasa. rase mcm puasa lagi bagus dr ubat bende buduh ni.. haha.. owh, also.. i had the recipe wrong! padanlaa rase dier giler pedas.. u noe, like drinking "hot" lemonade. chilled and sweet but has an after taste of chili powder... owh god, why do i do this to myself?!

so will have to see what happens tomorrow...

p/s: no wonder i couldnt sleep the whole night last night... ok, leaving u guys wif this video.. enjoy!

Countdown begins :)

2011-06-28T02:58:00.004+08:00

So i have a few more days left til i fly off to UK and only now am getting all excited.. huhu... been chatting with Whdh for hours planning bout the places that i'd like to go and things to do there later. Will also be spending a few days with KSalwa and the family :) havent seen them in a while now so it'll be great.. thought of just spending 2 days at her place (didnt wanna intrude) but she "kinda" insisted that i stayed longer :D wooohooo!! the price??? MILO.. hahaha... owh welll...

Wanted to go watch Wicked but Whdh said she already have so thats a plan scrapped.. I've always wanted to go watch it after hearing so much about it from friends. They had it in Melb and I think there was one time they did it in Adelaide (but not so sure..) but i couldnt make it due to financially and cause of no "kaki" (went home way too often and regretting it now even more!). Anyways, now KSalwa said she wants to go. so i have to wait to see what's her plan...

i cant wait to have a really good time there and also cant wait to start work ASAP. dah start rase bohsan dok umah and do nothing.. wanted to start fasting tmrw but have to start my cayenne pepper n lemon diet tmrw too. so puasa urmm... put on hold dulu :P to those yg perlu ganti tu, cepat2 la yer ganti... takot nanti tak sempat plak.

so about the diet.. well, i've put on weight and i'm starting to panic! my current weight is the same as how i was in brissie and i sure as hell dont like it.. u see, the only reason y i lost all the weight then, was because of the breakup with Adi (makan hati la kan..) and managed to maintain it till the 2nd break-up... (maybe time couple ngn dat bastard manjang makan hati jer kot, tu psl maintain..) haha! so now, have to do the extreme. need to look good in photos! hence the diet... whether i will make it or not, will have to seee.

continued...

2011-06-26T00:46:00.003+08:00

Utilize ‘The Burning Method.’
Whenever a fear or worry or complaint comes to mind, close your eyes and imagine writing down the thought on a piece of paper. Then proceed to light the paper and fire and watch it disintegrate. Even better, actually write it down and burn it. You won’t have any problem ridding your mind of the thought after doing this.
Travel.
Anyone who has ever gone anywhere will tell you that traveling is one of the most exciting and life-changing activities that you can do. Observing a different culture will expand your mind while making you further appreciate the life you already live. This goes back to becoming an explorer: this world is your jungle so go explore! Who knows, maybe you’ll find a place you love so much that you decide to move. Imagine the positive repercussions a new environment could have on your life.
The Rubber Band Method
This is the third and final way to rid yourself of negative thoughts (hopefully by now you have figured out that this is very important!). Place a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin anytime a negative thought finds its way into your head. This classical conditioning technique associates a slight pain with negative thoughts like Pavlov associated food/salivation with the sound of a bell. Sounds a bit cruel at first but it only stings for a second, I promise. Plus the outcome, having only positive thoughts, far outweighs a little slap on the wrist here and there.
Learn to be unaffected by the words of others.
Most people get very upset when they are called negative names by others, but there is a simple trick to overcoming this. Here it is: If I went up to you and called you a fire hydrant, would you be upset? Of course not. Obviously you are not a fire hydrant, you are a human being. The same concept applies to when someone calls you something that you know you are not. They are foolish for saying such things, so why would you react with such anger? The only exception is when someone calls you something that is true! In this case, you should thank them for alerting you to a weakness, one that you can now work on changing.
Read “Zen and the Art of Happiness” by Chris Prentiss.
This book will give you the knowledge and instruction to be happy at all times regardless of the circumstances. Yes, this sounds like an oversimplification of happiness, but I assure you that this book will change you in an amazing way.
Develop the ability to forgive.
Forgiveness is something that most people fail miserably at even thought it’s so simple. Grudges only bring more misery to those who hold them and prevent good relations with the target. YOU makes mistakes all of the time so why not have mercy when other do? Remaining angry feels horrible while forgiving someone brings a refreshing sensation to the mind and healing to the relationship.
Be the person that makes others feel special.
Be known for your kindness and sympathy.
Learn to lucid dream
, or to realize when you are dreaming so that you can control your dreams. Sleep feels good, but its rather boring and unproductive. With lucid dreaming under your belt, night time can be even more exciting than when you are awake. You can do anything: fly, travel to other planets, party with a celebrity, get intimate with your dream boy/girl, etc. Many lucid dreams have also reported being able to speak directly with the subconscious during dreams by demanding to be taken to it after becoming lucid. For those that know a thing or two about your subconscious, that is a BIG deal.
Visualize daily.
It has been said and proven time and time again that what you focus on is what you get. If you complain all of the time, you will run into more of the things you complain about. The same goes for good things like health, wealth and happiness. So spend some time in the morning imagining yourself achieving whatever it is that you currently desire. Focus is key in this exercise, so choose a quiet environment where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re having trouble focusing and continually find that your mind has wandered to something else, read about meditation in the following life tip. There is a lot more to this concept, so check out the full article on visualization and the law of attraction.
10. Meditate everyday for at least 20 minutes.
In this modern world where everyone is so connected to everything else via cell phones, TV and internet, most people rarely enjoy the beauty of silence. The ability to quiet your mind and relax your body is an art and skill that everyone should develop. Simply sit somewhere, preferably in nature, and focus on your breathing or try to think about nothing. This is going to be extremely hard at first! You might find it boring or just plain impossible to think of nothing, but you will get better and you will learn to love it. Post-meditation, you will feel extremely clear headed and.. well, just plain wonderful. The only way to really understand this sensation is to try it.

Strike 3!

2011-06-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

I'm OUT and i'm out of players... So i guess i'll just have to wait till next season comes... owh boy...

Another 10 life secrets and tips:)

2011-06-19T00:43:00.001+08:00

Think positive thoughts.When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it immediately by any means necessary. Slap yourself in the face, yell something positive at the top of your lungs or jump up and down. Do whatever it takes to get back to a positive mindset as such is essential for continual happiness and success.
Read books.No explanation needed.
Get in the sun.Superman was completely re-energized when he flew out to space and soaked in some rays and you can do the same right outside your front door (if you live in a constantly dreary place, my apologies). The sun feels amazing: your entire body will be coursing with warmth and life.
Help others.
I’ll just give you a plethora of reasons why this is a MUST
- Helping people has a ripple effect. If you help someone they will feel more obliged to help someone else, and so on. Pay it forward
- You grow by giving and helping others. It can change you in ways you never expected
- Your relationship with that person will become stronger
- It’s the most fulfilling thing you can do on this planet. It not only feels amazing physically, you also feel like a good person
- You might be able to call in a favor later when you need some help
- Karma (if you believe in it)
- Because there are more people in this world than just you
Set aside a specific time to worry each day.Ponder all of your problems and anxieties during that time so that they will not distract you during work or moments of pleasure. This way you can be extremely efficient with your time and avoid focusing on negative things as much as possible. If you get all of your worry out of the way and have the mental fortitude to keep from reverting back to them, you will be much happier on the daily.
Be honest at all times.Lies lead to nothing but trouble. Being known as trustworthy is an excellent trait to maintain and essential to having integrity.
Sleep less.Fully adjusting to a new sleep cycle can take up to 21 days so don’t give up if you feel tired after switching to 5-hour nights. The “required” 8 hour/night is for normal people. If you’re reading THIS article on THIS site, you are not normal. So figure out how much sleep YOU really need and adjust accordingly. As enjoyable as sleep is, waking existence is much more fulfilling and efficient. IF this really sparks your interest, check out alternate sleep cycles with which you can be fine off of 2 hours of sleep per day.
Read “Bringers of Light” and “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch.These books will help you decide what you want to do in this life and how to get to that point. They will also profoundly change the way you look at the purpose of existence. Read them!
Figure out what your goals and dreams are.So many people wander aimlessly through life simply go for whatever small thing they want moment by moment. Instead, decide what your perfect life consists of and begin to put the steps in motion to reach that place. The most satisfying thing in the world (yes, better than sex, much better) is overcoming a challenge and reaching a goal. We are the happiest when we are growing and working towards something better.
Start your day off right.Wake up and set aside an hour for personal development activities (meditation, self-introspection, observing nature, etc.) Do the things that make you feel blissful, optimistic and empowered so that you can set a positive tone for your day. I guarantee that once you start doing this, your days will be more enjoyable and fulfilling. Today is going to be the best day of your life. Duh.

50 Life Secrets and Tips

2011-06-14T22:48:00.003+08:00

Will post 10 at a time so there wont be any overdose :) Hope this teaches us something..

Memorize something everyday.Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.
Constantly try to reduce your attachment to possessions.Those who are heavy set with material desires will have a lot of trouble when their things are taken away from them or lost. Possessions do end up owning you, not the other way around. Become a person of minimal needs and you will be much more content.
Develop an endless curiosity about this world.Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone and try to experience as many different environments and sensations as possible. This world has so much to offer, so why not take advantage of it?
Remember people’s namesso that they feel appreciated and for your own future benefit when you want something from that person. To do this, say their name back to them when they introduce themselves. Then repeat the name in your head a number of times until you are sure you have it. Continue to use their name in conversation as much as possible to remove any chance of forgetting it. If you’re still having trouble, make up a rhyme about their name: “Dan the Man” or “Natalie flatters me.”
Get fit!It’s ridiculous to think that we have one body, one sole means of functioning, and people are too lazy to take care of themselves. Fit bodies lead to better health, confidence and more success with romantic endeavors. I’d say those are 3 very good reasons to get in shape.
Learn to focus only on the present.The past is unchangeable so it is futile to reflect on it unless you are making sure you do not repeat past mistakes. The future is but a result of your actions today. So learn from the past to do better in the present so that you can succeed in the future.
Even more specifically, live in THIS moment.Even 10 minutes ago is the past. If you live purely in this moment you will always be happy because there is nothing wrong in this split-second.
Smile more often.Whenever you get a grin on your face, your brain is releasing serotonin, the happy hormone. Smiling is the natural way to force yourself to be happy. Many people even smile for five minutes straight in the morning to get themselves in a great mood for the day. It is a very powerful tool that is utilized less and less as we grow older and need happiness more than ever. Just remember that while happiness leads to smiles, smiles also lead to happiness.
Drink water.Hydration is tremendously important for overall health. Soda has absolutely ZERO nutritional content; it’s like pouring a punch of sugar and syrup into your cup. Instead, fill it with life-replenishing water. It may taste plain at first if you’re coming off of a heavy soda-drinking streak, but you’ll soon find yourself addicted to it. 10 glasses per day is optimal, how many have you been getting lately?
Don’t take life so seriously!Learn to laugh at the little things and this whole “existence” thing will be a whole lot easier. Be amused by your mistakes and failures and be thankful that you learned your lesson and won’t mess up like that again. And most importantly do things that you enjoy! Life is not strictly business, it can be mixed with pleasure.

back to norm...

2011-06-13T23:46:00.007+08:00

So... work has been boring lately... nothing to do since it'll be the last week. Really dont know why i should even bother waking up early and drag myself to work nowadays.. owh well, few more days and i'll be free :) I bet when the new job starts in mid July I'll be dead lazy!

what to do?? I guess I can just sit at home and do some research on the interesting places that I could visit :) and also play with the lil boy called Mikael.

Cute as a button!! dont know how sumthing that cute came out from 2 not so pretty parents!! haha.. i kid.. i kid.. u guys are gorgeous.. Ape lagi?? yeah, attend weddings.. yet again the season of love and bla bla bla have started and invitations started coming in again. Went to Apai's last Sunday and it was one hell of a wedding.. grand nak mamps! dengan all the ministers and the sultans (yes.. sultan with an (s) cause there were 2!) but honestly, if u know this guy, korang takkan agak dia anak pak menteri. grounded as always he is... even had frens who till yesterday was still quite clueless who his father was! hahaha.. owh well, congratulations Pai and Anis.. you guys looked stunning!

WAITING...

2011-06-12T11:41:00.001+08:00

menunggu itu satu pekerjaan yang buduh dan membuang masa! it just shows and proves that the other person just dont think that your time is precious enough for them to actually be on time. aduh, i wonder on the day nnt would u actually be on time babe! grrr...

while i was reading past posts...

2011-06-08T22:58:00.003+08:00

I found this quote that someone told me long long time ago:

"There are 3 things that u cant hide. The sun, the moon... and the truth."

Its sure as hell a powerful quote.. and i'm sure as hell feel like crushing his head with my bear hands..

:)

2011-06-08T18:44:00.004+08:00

boy was I wrong when I said the week before was my very last outstation trip!! Here I am, finding myself in Perak yet again. haha... thank god this time I brought my cousin along for entertainment. This time, 2 nights in Taiping and another night in Ipoh. Sudaaaah.. this is definitely my last out station trip ever! Not much happenings.. just that I'm counting the days till the very last day to work for the company and then countdown begins for the holiday of the year! woohoo!!

Of all the countries that I've been to, UK was never in the list. So this time UK it is. It was suppose to be a family holiday like every year but the turmoil in the middle east made us cancelled it... I wanted to go visit Whdh but the rest of the family decided that spain was their destination. So we're be heading off in separate directions this year.. hmm, lets just hope i dont mnyesal giler with my decision!! On top of that, will have to see what's gonna happen in the next 2-3 months.. I hope everything turns out in my favor. hmm.... :)

Btw, a fren shared this with me and i find it inneresting..

On a lighter mode...

2011-06-02T21:55:00.011+08:00

So i finally got to develop the films from the Holga. Pictures were taken just to test the camera basically so it doesn't really have any aesthetic values yettt.. But yeah, atleast I know now how the pictures would turn out to be. I'd prefer a richer colour and sharper images tho.. I guess will have to practice more (but i have the olympus pen.. dung!! so many cameras to test!! options, options)...

The theme for now... :)

2011-05-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

Defining the situation...

2011-05-29T11:54:00.014+08:00

"A Sociopath

A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused - it is done to get one's way). Sociopaths have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. Sociopaths are often charming and charismatic, but they use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways"

I was actually looking the real definition of a compulsive liar. But, I think the above fits the ex way better... I never fully understood how and why things happen how it did but after reading a few articles, i think i do now. The more I read, the clearer the picture got.. So many red flags and ticks next to the check box!

U see, a month ago he started msging me again. at first it was left unanswered but when it got too annoying and harder to ignore, I began replying them. Msgs like "feeling reluctant to marry" and things like "i love you the most" was a norm. True, pity began to submerged for him and the anger had slowly subside. But u see, now i understood it... in an article i read, it said,

"One of the main reasons why victims high in empathy do not recognize sociopaths is that the desire for power is non-conscious. People high in empathy make use of their knowledge of their own emotions to interpret the emotions of others."

I am an educated person armed with god given instincts, and my instincts had been right the whole time. SO when he started msging again, the alarm went off yet again (it seems here that sociopaths have the same pattern.. they will suddenly pop-up!). Telling me that he indeed had "hidden agenda". U see, all the while he was suggesting that he bring the fiance to come and see me. And, he wanted me to explain about the whole thing to her. Why?? Thats the same qtn i asked him. what is the use of explaining now when he is about to get married. Better that he explains it to her. I mean, if you were to start sumthing based on a lie, then so be it. I can assure u that it won't end well. So after so many times of him saying that, I agreed... Guess wat?? he went all quiet on me! there... another lie... kiranye, dier bukanlah seserius mana bile kate nak bawak jumpe the Fiance.. main acah2 aje la kan.. maybe he was just checking me out to make sure i dont have anythg against him and will let him off the hook for what he did all these while? i also dunno what was in his head.. i can only wonder.. dah kater sociopath.. u wont be able to understand them i suppose..

after contemplating for weeks, taking advice from her friends and mine, and thinking of the possibility that he will keep coming back even after he gets married, i finally spilled the beans to her. his reaction??? crayyyseeee.... suddenly he was the one yang kater NO to the meetup and all... I mean, ni dah 2 kali dah kene ngn mamat ni. takkan nak kene lagi kot pasni.. NO... this has to stop! What i told her and what proof i gave her was just between us but i dont know how much info she shared with him. I dont blame her, she must be so depressed right now but at the same time, from previous msgs i can tell that she's not as smart as i hope she'd be. she trusted him too much that she wanted to close an eye to all of his infidelities. tak apalah, i can only share my info with her and its her right to choose how her life is gonna be. i wish her all the best and thank god i'm not in her shoes right now (i am sooo tempted to pass her this article). But guys, if anything should happen to me please go and find him. His last msg was a bit on the threatening side but i'm just gonna let it slide for now... MOHD IRFAN IDRUS, please be gone.. For what you did to me, i will let god punish u as i have no right to.

2011-05-23T17:38:00.002+08:00

So I finally got the call that I've been waiting for...

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

*jumping up and down!!!*

So, this is definitely my final outstation trip EVER.. Unless... unless they were really serious about RElocating me to somewhere outside of KL.. baaaargh!! fingers crossed that i dont need to. Anyways, this is a totally different job scope and hopefully this time it is my forte.

hmm... hopefully my work ethics and enthusiasm that I have now will continue on when I join this MALAY oriented organisation.. owh heck.. right now I dont really care.. cause right now I'm happy!!!

2011-05-21T15:31:00.003+08:00

after watching this, i'm feeling like i really need to start playing the piano again.. then, found this website! its sooo dummy proof.. its for sumone like ME!! hahaha... so this year's project, to start playing piano again!!

2011-05-20T12:34:00.001+08:00

What hurts more than being lied to.. it's pretty simple.. knowing you weren't worth the truth!

so they say...

2011-05-19T22:45:00.004+08:00

"If two past lovers still remain friends, its either someone is still in love OR someone is still hoping for a second chance."

I really dont know now which is more upsetting... Irfan getting married or Zul has a girlfriend.. hmmm.... my adi no more.. :) (but i'm happy for u dear. finally u found sumone better than me!!! ;))

ok, am just being selfish bout zul... afterall, he was the best.. i'll find another best. okay, NEXT!!!

2011-05-19T00:30:00.000+08:00

Am counting on the days that God finally punishes you...

Parting..

2011-05-14T01:19:00.005+08:00

So, an unexpected turn of event happened... remember that guy who told me to go screw myself?? hahah... so yeah, just had coffee with him. y? hmm, honestly i really dont know. maybe i was in a forgiving and watever mood when he actually proposed the meetup. a "closure" he calls it... we begin as frens and parted ways by just that... frens... its kinda sad to lose a fren but i suppose he just couldnt really see and differentiate the boundaries if we were to stay frens.

one might ask, what "closure" am i giving him since there wasnt anything in the first place! haha... yeah, but i suppose he needed it to move on to and with another person. he did most of the talking actually. i just sat there nodded waaay too much i think cause i actually got a headache! (I think I barely said 20 words that time. Suprised?? Me too..me, of all ppl, was so quiet!!) hahaha... but what came out of his mouth were really nice and honest things. he still thinks its bullshit that i'm single and told me bout wat the ex told him bout how he should stay away frm me and the ex was "serious" with me and that he wanted marriage. hahaha!! i just smiled.. its so funny how the situation has changed so drastically now...

anyways, i gave him about 20mins (to be precise) to say wat he wanted to say, wished him well and went on my way... my parents were actually angry at me for allowing this to happen and gave hope to this pity pity guy. but honestly, i didnt... i even asked him if i was and he said no. so i guess i'm off the hook :D i dont really like giving people hope... i dont like playing with people's feelings and dreams.

i suppose i am more sensitive than what people might think of me. i still find myself crying while driving alone from work.. my frens think that i should "distract" myself and put myself out there.. hmm.. not now... not when i'm still numb and absent minded.. i told jaz once... i dont do rebounds... there were times tho when i began to doubt it especially when he got super close and nice to me.. but no... no rebounds.. good ey? berjaya membendung diri dari membuat a stupid decision!! :) i suppose cause i know how hurtful u can get when you've put so much love and trust in a person but they betray that and take it all away from u... nope.. i wont do that to someone else... and one more thing, i think wat hurts me the most about the whole thing with the ex was that he was the one whom i loved the most and thought i'd endup with.

owh well, i suppose it was partly my fault. but mostly it wasnt... i was tricked into thinking everything was wonderful and flowery. i thought i was loved and appreciated and of course, the one and only! but i suppose i only saw wat i wanted to see.. that, i am guilty off. grrr... 5 months of building that brick wall just gone wasted. now i'm back to square one.. the stupid stage... owh c'mon Nad, lets build that wall again!!!

2011-05-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

its surprising how far a simple sincere apology can go and wat it can do... but i dont know how sincere you were.. dont know how much is real cause bottom line is, i dont think i know u...

Bad luck happens in threes???

2011-05-11T22:02:00.003+08:00

well... if it does happens in 3s then i'm pretty sure that my quota's full... so lets recap them.

Firstly, had an accident on my way back home from work. Secondly, the ex reappeared (yes, i say that as "BALA") and thirdly.... today... had another accident! my gawd! maybe i really should go for one of those "mandi bunga" or watever. **sigh*

so the first accident... basically i was tired, and distracted... and it was at night.. and it was raining.. so i suppose all these elements kinda played a role in it. kinda caused a four car pile-up, so u can just imagine the magnitude of the accident. alhamdulillah i came out in one piece.. thank u HONDA!! hahaha... but yea, abit sakit here and there, abit bruised too but that was bout it. emotionally?? still traumatized.. hmm... but i can assure u that i'm driving a wee bit slower nowadays AND i only text when the car is at a standstill :)

next, the ex... owh man, seriously thought that his chapter was closed.. naaa... not yet rupernye.. but yea, the king of drama never fails to impress me with his dramatic scenes... he suprises me with how much "respect" (which is close to none) he have for women. i mean, who do u think u are that you can come up to me and say that u have to make a decision and that if there was another life, u wish it was me.. wtf man??!! hello... where have u been mate? havent u already made a decision?? havent u agreed to marry that other gurl??? hello?? so wat u hv to make a decision.. r u gonna stop the marriage or smthg like that?? u crazy?? the ceremony is like next mnth or smthg like that kan?? i seriously think that u are like some nut case man... really dont knw how i fell in love with you in the first place... please god... jauhkan lah aku dari lelaki macam ni lagi.. pls..pls..pls...

lastly, the most recent accident.. today!! *sigh* so since my car is in the workshop, i'm using nana's instead. lucky thg we have extra cars... so after having lunch with yus, had to head out to klang wen this van just banged me from the back! aduh!! shit la kan.. not another accident! so had to go through all the paperworks again and yea, will be "car-less" next week or so. when that one is done, then baru boleh gi outstation... thats another bad news for me... have to go there for 3 consecutive weeks... bloody hell btol..

A night i'd definitely would remember...

2011-04-28T20:25:00.003+08:00

YES! i finally did it... haih... will update the heart wrenching details when i feel better...

while waiting for the cake to set...

2011-04-17T10:42:00.001+08:00

I think i'm into renditions now.. its just more fun! Enjoy :)

when boredom kicks in...

2011-04-13T22:36:00.006+08:00

Read this in Naji's blog.. a very very nice quotation i would say...

"In life, there will always be things, or people, that make us cry, that betray us, that steal from us, that make us wanna kill ourselves at a certain point of time. But let go. Let go of the anger, the grudge, and any intention for revenge. Let go and see the bigger picture. An unhappy moment in life, is just another moment among other moments to come. Let go and move on."

I wish I am wise enough to let go... and I wish that I am strong enough to forgive...

2011-04-13T22:08:00.001+08:00

She's worth checking out for..

Quote of the day

2011-04-06T18:25:00.001+08:00

"Liars often set their own traps. God bless them."

btw, FLINDERS is back in my FEEDJIT!!!! :)

something beautiful to mend the ugly...

2011-04-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

Memang ALLAH Sengaja....

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat menjadi penilai yg baik.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa kita hanyalah makhluk yg sentiasa mengharapkan pertolongan ALLAH.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang g salah supaya kita dapat KASIH SAYANG YANG TERBAIK,KHAS UNTUK DIRI KITA.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kitasedar bahawa ALLAH MAHA PEMURAH & PENYAYANG kerana mengingatkan kita bahawa dia bukanlah pilihan yg hebat untuk kita dan kehidupan kita pada masa depan...

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat mengutip pengalaman yg tak semua orang berpeluang untuk mengalaminya.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita
jadi MANUSIA YG HEBAT JIWANYA.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita
lebih faham bahawa CINTA YG TERBAIK HANYA ADA BERSAMA ALLAH.

* Memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita LEBIH MENGENALI KEHIDUPAN YG TAK SELAMANYA KEKAL.

2011-03-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

Funnelling

2011-03-25T21:32:00.001+08:00

So... am finding myself at a crossroad again OR maybe I've been listening too much of Chasing Pavements..

still hurt..

2011-03-17T22:57:00.001+08:00

"The secret to getting away with lying is believing with all your heart, that goes for lying to yourself even moreso than lying to another."- Elizabeth Bear

"People will believe a big lie sooner than a little one, and if you repeat it frequently enough, people will sooner or later believe it." -Walter Langer

wish list..

2011-03-15T23:31:00.003+08:00

so... i know its only march BUT.. sumone just asked me what i'd like for my birthday :D maybe i should start thinking of a wish list... muahaha!! its always nice when sumbody asks u that, but its actually hard to tell them without sounding soo...umm.. how should i put it?? hopeful?? or materialistic?? hehe.. what makes it even more hard is when you know that they can afford to splurge on you but you cant really afford to splurge on them when its their turn next!

soo... what do u actually tell these kinda people when they ask??? just smile and change topics?? OR just give them your wish list and let them decide what they could get u.. OR better still, make an agreement on how much each of you should spend on birthday presents :)

i actually got a humongous teddy from him last year and i only got him lunch! it really didnt tally actually... hmm... pressure..pressure... honestly, its way easier when both of you have less.. grrr... so what do i actually want?? :)

the most dramatic of them all...

2011-03-13T23:26:00.007+08:00

So... i just had THE most interesting encounter with a DRAMA-KING last weekend. Zul tells me that, because i love dramas so much, i actually invite them in as well.. Zul, u may be true.. u maaay be true..

OH AMM GEE cik A!! we only went out once for gods sake and it wasnt even a real date okaay. It was more like 2 friends catching up on things... then you went all MIA on me for like 5-6 months.. Aduhaaaaiii! And, now suddenly u're like demanding me for a closure??! wth!? nak go all emo with me and then ajak couple??!! ape gile?! i never gave u the wrong "signals" cause i DONT give out signals... i seriously wanna noe where u learn bout signals man, cause u sure got them wrong.

if you treasure ur frenship with nana soo much like wat u claim it to be, then y in the first place did u go all MIA and EMO towards her.. bullshit man.. u really spoilt my friday nite!

Enough of that.. i will HAVE to stop projecting all these negativity traits.. HAVE TO!

alternatively grenade :)

2011-03-08T22:57:00.001+08:00

2011-02-27T23:05:00.006+08:00

loving this

Andrew Mathews says...

2011-02-23T20:36:00.002+08:00

When I first got the book, one particular part in it struck me then. This para:

"The universe is always nudging us with gentle signals.

When we ignore the signals, it nudges us with a sledgehammer"

Little did I know, the universe was indeed telling me something... now I know.. Always.. Always.. listen to your first instinct. Nonetheless, the book was good but I've burnt it together with all the other false memories that Mr. Shithead created.

2011-02-22T08:37:00.001+08:00

Thank gawd Nikko Hotel is NO LONGER called and will ever be called Nikko Hotel again... Farker!!!

2011-02-21T18:20:00.000+08:00

I'm sooo loving it here... So far from all the negativities.. Don't wanna go back lah Zara!!

2011-02-16T07:57:00.000+08:00

"When a door closes, 2 more will open"

all eyes and ears...

2011-02-15T00:16:00.005+08:00

so.. it seems like u still care bout what people think of you.. thats you.. you like people to think that what you look like is how and what you truly are.. i was fooled once, so i dont blame people for taking you at face value too...

you know how people say "forgive and forget"? and people sometimes say "forgive but never forget"... but can u forget, but never forgive? right now i wanna forget.. but i dont think i can ever forgive.. not after how dramatic my life u made it out to be..

i suppose those who read the last post would be very interested bout knowing what actually happen.. you know, the truth instead of just hearing from the one side.. the "dark side"... will keep you all posted if you are..

P/s: how dare u msg me saying u'd pray for my happiness.. Well u shud! But u know wat u are? A compulsive liar.. Nothing sincere and honest comes out of people of dat sickness's mouth...

2010-02-03T22:21:00.003+08:00

najlaa told me something about twitter that actually attracted me to use it. so this is gonna be my last blog post.. m going twitter!!! :)

2010-01-20T01:42:00.005+08:00

sometimes, i find that these kids who study locally are worst than those who study abroad... wat do u think? especially those who gets culture shock with all the freedom that they are given once they step into the REAL world. atleast kalau bdak2 oversea grad ni, can REALLY blame it on the western influence. yang dok kat msia ni??? hmm.. wat has this country become! haha... not gonna bring up my children in msia lah like this.. hehe..

2010-01-14T23:18:00.004+08:00

I'm blogging cause i'm bored... thought i would stop writting once i get back but wat the heck. today i feel emo. so i'm probably gonna write things according to how i'm feeling right now. i dont even know who in the right mind would stil follow this blog cause its just basically my ramblings bout things that i dont get to say it out loud.. ibu thinks i get in trouble for the things that i put here (not just ibu tho) but i say let me be. this is my space, my one place where no one gets to talk back to me. i dont giveout my links easily to people and those who do read it are usually my frens from brissie, people that i feel safe. tp if yang i dont know then i guess i dont really care cause i dont know u and u dont know me and we wont be meeting anyways..

nana's wedding for firdaus's side was last sunday. it was pretty nice, alot of vvips and vips came but i still thought that ours was better (sorry ar body... just my thought). haha.. people kept asking me whether i mind that my younger sister marries first and i keep telling them that i dont. honestly, i dont.. i am very happy for her. i think that it was high time for them to tie the knot anyways. plus the parents were already worried bout them going out way too often. however, wat i DO mind is wen people keep asking me wen my turn is gonna be even AFTER i tell them not yet or that i want to stablise my life first before i get into a comittment like that. hellooooo, dont u guys get it?? all i'm trying to do is AVOID the question entirely!! i dont want to talk bout it. i dont want to think about it with watever complications that i have in my life right now. takkan sampai nak bgtau plak my lovelife story baru korang nak paham. kalau nak sgt dengar, mmg takkan satu malam lah kan. but pls lah.. stop it.

ibu thinks i enjoy the suffering and sadness so thats why i subject myself to complications eventhough i know wat the outcome is gonna be. ayah now thinks that i'm crazy (i think la!) and my sisters, well.. they just hope that all this is worth it.. hmm. i dunno.. i dunno anymore.. right now my focus is more to job hunting.. i soo need a job so i can run away from this pain and craziness. i still sumtimes think, y cant people let me be? y cant people let me be happy? y are people so mean? y do people prejudge? maybe its my fault lah.. i prejudge too eventhough sumtimes i tell myself not to. so i guess its normal.. but then again, i usually have bad instincts so my prejudgement would always change once i get to know the other person. kaylah, i'm done with my rambling for the day. "u know who?" dont take this to heart.. just me ventilating..

kay, i'll leave with sum pictures of nana's day. i hope both of you (nana n firdaus that is..) enjoy married life and have babies ASAP k.. enjoy guys!!

2010-01-13T23:19:00.002+08:00

now everytime when i hear the word "arranged marriage" i get knots in my tummy and my blood just shoots up.. i wonder y..

2010- no difference for now.. still the same complications in life.. when will this ever end? when can i ever get my happy ending??

A new year, a new beginning??

2010-01-01T09:18:00.004+08:00

Happy 2010 ppl.. today's the day that we've all been waiting for (the family that is..) nana's big day.. I've been back for 3 or almost 4 weeks already and things have been hectic. buat baju, gi last minute shopping, gi test bace qur'an. at 10 today, there'l be a khatam qur'an. nana's sooo lucky cos me and najlaa ended up being dragged as well to read it with her! no fair... lagi best if dpt tgk dier sorang jer bace merangkak2.. hahaha..
mlm, would be the solemnisation ceremony. we'll be wearing green! and tomorow night, the reception at nikko... peach is the theme.. hmm, so nice.. so bz.. bz enuf to distract me from the things i have in my head. job hunting, men, job hunting, job, money, i want work!!
i hate it wen ppl just dont read wat i write but use only the pics here to judge me.. its not fair.. i hate it what people say can really disrupt your caalm feelings. i hate it when what they say might be true, and u start thinking whether or not it IS tru... hmm... oklah, better go mandi now. i dunno whether or not i'l keep blogging. so... this is bye..

2009-10-02T16:55:00.002+08:00

It just hit me today... one more week and i'l be on a plane leaving this country.. tru, i'll be coming back but sumhow everybody is lining up their farewell party/ get together already for me! starting to feel abit emotional bout it. B, my lab mate just told me that her fiance N use to tell her how proud he was, "like a proud father" she says.. of me. and she also said that he's gonna miss me the most. u see, he and pradeep have been my mentors and have been helping me alot. i've been stealing alot of their time and also chemical stock from the lab!! hehe.. dun worry guys, i'm returning it wen mine comes in.. hahaha..
hmm, i dont think i'll be missing adelaide, but i'm gonna miss the lab and the people alot. they've been nothing but nice to me all year and their sincerity in helping just shines thru.. guys, thanks for everything and i'l miss u guys and do keep in touch...

2009-09-24T13:28:00.002+08:00

I feel like am in a movie... a drama even.. seems like everyone is moving pass me and i'm stuck, just watching people go... not being able to move.. everything's soo hazy. am i going to be able to move from this stationary phase? its so tiring, so depressing, so frustrating..

2009-09-23T09:18:00.001+08:00

2009 is officially the worst year EVER!!! can it get any worst than this??

2009-09-17T11:48:00.001+08:00

ALONE...

2009-09-15T11:13:00.003+08:00

few more days and we'll be celebrating eid.. again, i'll be celebrating it away from home in the land down under. hopefully this will be the last one EVER.. husna just flew back this morning. she's gonna be away til Jan so i'll be super duper alone til i go back for good in dec. actually i bought tickets to go back for raya.. but then decided to postpone it to a later date ensuring that i get all my lab work done before i head off and do my writting back home. so many things happen that need my attention in Malaysia hence the sacrfice! haha.. na, mmg lumrah orang blaja overseas kan. ni mngade jer nih..
so anyways, had my international food night last sunday. after few weeks of trying to organize everything it finally happened. it went well i should say. didnt really expect alot of people to come for the night yet alone to cook!. there were about 24-25 people who registered to cook and overall we had about 31 dishes. the dishes ranges from Malaysian (of course!!), indian, french and also dutch cooking.. it was fantabulous!! there were even leftovers for people to pack back. anyways, sebenarnye nak cakap husna and i made pulut kuning.. hehe.. and we won the best dish for the night and.. we got 2 movie tickets! hehe.. tho i felt bad winning it as i was the host for the night, it was a fair kinda thing okaaay... didnt even bribe anyone to vote for us.. hehe..

no kuih raya for this year- didnt ask ibu or anyone to send some to me. yerla, thought that i would be going home kan.. zara and nurul said they wanted to send some but cancelled last minute since i told them that i was coming home. haih.. nyesal jer cancel ngn derang. the eid celebration meeting was done in abg talib's house on saturday. isma and i am responsible for the cookies/ dessert. we'll see how that one goes. haih... m soo in Malaysia right now. my heart and mind already there with the people i love.. huhuu... but cant stay there for long cos i got work to do!! aiyoo..
anyways, let me take this opportunity to wish everyone EID MUBARAK! May all our prayers and deeds done during Ramadhan gets accepted. for those who i have done wrong, i'm sorry.. god bless !!

copy & paste from "http://sheisayu.multiply.com/reviews"

2009-09-02T14:53:00.000+08:00

Take time to read, good reminder for us - the married ones. And those thinkin' of gettin married. And maybe, those who thinkin' of NOT gettin' married too....heheh! =)

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling"in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship

WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Raya of 2009

2009-08-30T20:28:00.002+08:00

True..true..raya is still afew weeks away. but somehow this year ramadan doesnt feel so "exciting" as before. Maybe the tonnes of work that I have to do or just its getting immune of celebrating ramadan and eid alone again in a foreign land. We didnt even send any pictures this year to newspapers and all that.
I'm contemplating whether I should go to brissie and celebrate it with alan but that would mean that I have to take off 2days of precious lab time. hmm.. thinking..thinking.. i dont know. I didnt even ask ibu and aunty to send me any cookies or cards. it would be nice though to recieve something in the post. but i'm just tired of asking and hoping and getting frustrated again and again.. haih. so, this year i dont think eid would be a joyous event. i just hope though that any deeds done during ramadan is taken into account cos that one is wat truly matters..

15Malaysia

2009-08-19T12:03:00.002+08:00

Hey guys... I found this website of short films made by malaysians. They have quite a number of films and features alot of very familiar faces. I find this one in particular very funny.. enjoy.. btw, go check the main page here

2009-08-17T13:09:00.004+08:00

"Do good to others as you would like others to do good to you"

I kinda like that phrase and i believe that word for word. i'l TRY my best not to make people wait for me cos i hate waiting, or give EXCUSES for something i did wrong cos i hate listening to them. but u guys probably noe this already tho, i am quite blunt bout how i say things so.. that'l probably cancel out good deeds i do.. hahah!!
anyways, I find myself more comfortable in the faculty now. having people to have lunch with, go play netball or just plain barging into sumone elses lab to ask questions. its sad though that i'l be leaving in a few months time when i'm only starting to warm up to them and vice versa.
We have 3 nick-s here. tall nick, the IT guy; just nick- pradeep's labmate and last but not least, big nick. haha.. overall they're a bunch of good people and fun to be around with. Tall Nick just came in to give me tea- green tea with vanilla flavor. i like tea and really love my green tea. ice cream, nougat, u name it.. its just yummy for me! anyways, nick reckons i should try it (we had a tea conversation during lunch) and an hour later, he came knocking on the door with a tea bag! haha.. maybe i should start getting weird flavors n we could exchange teas. haha.. owh, he was the very helpful guy who gave me a brand new keyboard and mouse too. he practically rummaged the store-room to find me a nice new one. yippee for Nick!!
I've been pretty lucky in the sense that i have really good labmates and friends here cos they're always ready to help me anytime. like eg i go into pradeep's n just-nick's lab every single day! and before i could open the door, i could hear pradeep say " here comes the trouble!!" hehe.. owh well, i noe he doesnt mean it that way but its nice to know u can actually count on them..
ysterday was a suprise. had 2 ppl knocking on my door for advice. one even stayed til late at night.. both had depression.. sad eh? i'm not much of a help when depression is in concern. i was feeling down too. i noe how it feels to be depressed and its really not a good feeling. and i noe talking DOES help to ease the pain (although sum people dont understand the POWER of chit chatting). so thats all we did and they seemed happy after the talk so i guess it did help in some ways. btw, thank god i have a really understanding housemate who doesnt really mind drop-ins. thanx husnaa..

How to fight rite...

2009-08-15T19:18:00.001+08:00

It was recommended that these phrases are used when fighting..

Please try to understand my point of view.
Wait, can I take that back?
You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.
This is important to me. Please listen.
I overreacted.
I see you’re in a tough position.
I can see my part in this.
I hadn’t thought of it that way before.
I could be wrong.
Let’s agree to disagree on that.
This isn’t just your problem; it’s our problem.
I’m feeling unappreciated.
We’re getting off the subject.
You’ve convinced me.
Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective—especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.]
Please keep talking to me.
I realize it's not your fault.
That came out all wrong.
I see how I contributed to the problem.
What are we really fighting about?
How can I make things better?
I’m sorry.
I love you.

something to think about..

2009-08-14T13:59:00.002+08:00

"Opposites attract. but soon it'll attack"

2009-08-11T13:44:00.004+08:00

I just noticed something.. its the effect of a small remark or acknowledgment said/ passed to you could do to change the entire day's mood. hehe... it doesnt matter what's been said to me or who said it but i'm smiling now... so tru when they say "its the small things that matters most". enough said!

what J.K Rowling did to me...

2009-08-05T09:57:00.002+08:00

Curiosity kills!! so, i decided that i really need to know wat happens in the end. hence, went and bought the 7th book on ebay :) ppl kept telling me i wont be able to understand it but i dont care.. i'm gonna try! hahaha

2009-08-03T15:26:00.005+08:00

I've putting back blogging but i think i just need to jot things down before i forget what has been happening. I blog mostly because i need a place where i can go back one day and read i've done once upon a time. i dont have a diary and i think diaries are just a waste of paper n space. this... on the other hand, is paperless.. hehe..

anyways, i went back for nana's engagement in july and that was great. everybody was back and aunty anne was huge!! well, she's expecting and was due anytime soon. we were all pestering her to just pop it out but she was so evident that it'l only come out on the 1st of Aug. anyways, here I'd like to introduce to u Miss Arissa Erina bt Muhammad Erwan Os'hara. panjang btol name dier... kesian nnt nak isi borang time exam..

next story!!
was talking to a fren the other day, asking which one is better. getting into a loveless relationship (not so la, u must like the other person atleast) BUT the security is there. AND, the chance of the feeling to "grow" is there.. OR be in a "i-luv-u-luv-me" kinda relationship but then get hurt and disappointed from time to time, again and again?? hmm.. i kinda like the frst one, but we're only human... i think only the strong ones would be able to handle the first choice and, the rest of us.. mere human beings will always be trapped in the second kinda relationship... hoping things will be better, wanting more than the other half would actually wanna offer. i was watching a movie once and there was a dialog in it saying sumthing like " usually the one which has less feelings attached to the relationship holds the most power". i say its tru... our judgement is clouded by our emotions.. that IS bad. but i guess its a risk that we take towards having that happy ending eyy??

next!!
hmm... my room is in a mess! i have not been able to find the time nor mood to clean it. its live-able but still.. sgt serabot kepala. have to find a day to clear up my cupboard, iron all my clothes (only god noes wen the last time was), vacum the room and clear the shelf.. must get ready for going home in dec since i wont have ibu this time to pack my things, AND i hv my writting to do too at that time.. haih.. k, singing off!!

2009-08-01T22:38:00.003+08:00

My holiday all sum-up in a picture...

Thank you!!

2009-06-20T00:49:00.003+08:00

I got my long awaited present from husna.. it seems that she ordered it like few weeks ago but it just came few days ago. a really creative gift i shud say and i really really like it. tapi, mane plak nak gantung yg besa ni husna??

2009-06-12T19:48:00.007+08:00

Dulu, budak2 ni suker gelak kat kak nita pasal "anak2" dier.. sikalang... tgk jerlaaa

Mase skolah2 dulu biler cikgu tanyer biler besar nak jadi aper, tak pernah laa pkir akan jadi mcm ni kan. takder lah nak kater petani ker scientist mmg takder dlm vocab la! skarang, aper jer aku buat??!! tanam padi... sib baik bukan for self consumption, parah nak tanam!!!

2009-06-10T20:16:00.007+08:00

ok.. i so malas wanna write bout wat happen during lunch today so just go tu husna's blog k. click HERE. And, what happen to suzi, click HERE. haha.. giler pemalas..!!

ok, now i can write without any repetiton..
suzi's going back to malaysia in less than 1mnths time and she's already requested me (hmm, not really requested la, more like ordered me) to make her chicken casserole and also tiramisu. haha.. unfortunately, thats the only thg i can do well.. i think!

it was sunday that i cooked the chicken casserole and bought the stuffs for the tiramisu. thought of doing the tiramisu then but forgot my whipping cream so the plan had to be postponed! i dont know how come, but for the past week or two, i've been craving sweets! dont think i'm pregnant or anything.. but yeah, sweets and lots of them.. mentioned it before kan.. hence the croquembouche that was made at 8.30pm with my partner in crime husna.. click HERE. haha... bagus btol biler org lain ske update nih!!

croquembouche with a twist!!

anyways, today when i came home from the city with suzi i decided to do the tiramisu.. after magrib prayers, i went downstairs, set everything and got to work! yippee!! more sweeeetness.. its still setting in the fridge but cant wait for tomorrow. mak tam, u wanna come for desert tomorrow??!! hehehe

an extra for the special one.. wonder who that might be.... haha

2009-06-07T22:07:00.002+08:00

"You know that the lie is going way to far when u start believing in it yourself..."

2009-06-04T19:22:00.003+08:00

m on duty tonight and only 3 hours in, i've got 2 calls already.. anyways, was happily watching my grace anatomy when my landline phone rang. a guy on the other line said, "hey beautiful.." hmm.. i just laughed and asked who it was thinking that it was shaun, one of the RCs. first, he just laughed along and i was positive that he thought i was his gf trying to pull his leg.. but then he asked me back who i was and we kept asking each other for like 3-4times until he finally said "clay". hahaha.. wrong number dude!! we laughed our heads off and said our byes and that was it.
owh well, atleast THAT brightened up my day.. need more laughs people...!! but u noe wat? i secretly wish that i get those kinda phone calls. hahah!! maybe shud wish harder... owh this is wat watching movies and hours and hours of watching tv does to u.. make u think fairy tales and prince charming and romance gestures actually exits and comes at a daily dose. hah!!

2009-06-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

"Hidup bukan untuk menyukat pahala dan dosa, hidup untuk mengenal"